My largest blessing is my family and friends. Without their support and understanding I wouldn't be able to get through a single day, let alone 365. Then, there are the not as important blessings but needed for my comfort and continued living -- a roof over my head, a paycheck for my husband, utilities to keep us warm and with food and water, and my own meager pay from my book sales. Each day knowing that I have these and so many more blessings helps me to put one foot in front of the other and push forward.
Then, there are the difficulties which all appear to stem from my health issues -- the way my body is reacting to the world around me (the winter blues, allergies, vitamin deficiencies, etc.) The holidays always seem to herald in many goals for the end of the year (always plan to write a lot), as well as, the stress of gift giving, family, friends, and not being able to get done what I desire to get done.
My current "funk" began the day after Christmas with much gusto. I came down with some sort of flu or food poisoning for a day or so, but I couldn't seem to bounce back. Weakness and the need to sleep 12+ hours engulfed me and I wondered if there was something seriously wrong with me other than the normal winter illnesses. Since beginning my pre-menopause woes everything is twenty times worse when I came down with a bug.
Thankfully, the family and I finally found a new doctor and I began the process of trying to determine the perfect treatment cocktail to get me through my days and to help me get back to my writing. For two months I didn't want to read or write. I have never experienced that in my life. Unable to get out of bed without feeling dizzy and dealing with hot flash type of "feverish" episodes, I struggled. Mr. Reuel ordered takeout on many occasions and fixed his dinner on many other nights. The kids being 16 and 18 now, can thankfully fend for themselves as well. I discovered that my Iron and Vitamin D levels were low and began taking supplements. I also have an appointment to be officially tested for allergies. I'm hoping that I will discover an allergy that can be managed to help with the way I feel on most days.
So, now... I'm a month into 2016 and feel like I've accomplished nothing. My third Dásreach book was supposed to be released by the end of 2015 and I find myself still struggling with the story. The one thing I know is that I have to forgive myself for not meeting my own goals. When I began working to publish my writing, yes I wanted to make money, but the main reason I write is because I have a story to share. I am extremely grateful for the book friends I have found and the readers that have reached out to me, because something in my writing touched their hearts. I have many writing goals that I want to achieve this year, but I know that they may or may not happen. My daughter is a senior in high school and will be attending college in the fall -- I will be extremely busy with those events. This Sunday we begin our 4-H year which will require some of my time as well.
I beg your patience as I work through these things and find a rhythm that allows me to produce a quality book for you, my readers while keeping true to my most important job as wife and mother.